Don't Lose The Lesson

We all experience pain of some sort in this lifetime . . . physical, emotional, mental and even spiritual. None of us can escape it.  None of us are exempt.  Pain is simply part of the human condition.

"Behind every beautiful thing, there's some kind of pain."

- Bob Dylan

After suffering for nearly four years with a debilitating, chronic pain condition, I had a very intimate relationship with pain.  What started out as physical pain, transformed and became all-encompassing, affecting me on every level of my being.  In fact, it seemed that pain not only defined me . . . it defined my entire life.  Physically, my aching body could no longer participate in even the most basic activities without extreme discomfort.  Emotionally, I felt withdrawn from the people I loved most and my relationships became strained . . . distant.  Mentally, I forced myself each day to try to maintain some sense of normalcy both personally and professionally; and every day I felt like I failed miserably.  Spiritually, my faith wavered as my condition lingered and worsened.  No matter what I did or how hard I tried, I couldn't perceive anything but pain.

"The wound is the place where the light enters you."

- Rumi

As a result of a proper diagnosis and treatment, I can thankfully say that I am no longer affected by my chronic pain condition.  What I learned during this journey is that pain, no matter the type, is neither good nor bad.  All pain has a lesson within it.

"The unending paradox is that we do learn through pain."

- Madeleine L'Engle

"The cure for pain is in the pain."

-Rumi

If we push ourselves too hard, engage in vigorous activity or neglect our health, our body responds with physical pain.  If we interact or engage in relationships that leave us feeling unfulfilled or unappreciated, we experience emotional pain. Pain is an indicator to pay attention and to act.

"Pain will leave you, when you let go."

- Jeremy Aldana

Too often, we go through painful times or circumstances and once it's over, we continue to hold on to the pain.  Sometimes we hold onto the pain so tightly that we miss the lesson completely.

"Turn your wounds into wisdom."

- Oprah Winfrey

I could have chosen to let those four years of pain continue to define me long after the discomfort ended. I could have chosen to look back in anger over the struggle and hurt, but that would be pointless.  That time has passed and cannot be changed.  I, however, can change and am changed because of my experience.

The next time life challenges you and pain surfaces, remember to pay attention, look within, act, and don't lose sight of the lesson because you're distracted by or can't let go of the pain.

Follow Your Bliss . . .

This is not my own, but it is definitely one of my favorites

Follow your bliss – that simple knowing that this is what you've been looking for all along.

Follow your bliss – remembering that moment you felt it and you knew.  Follow that “all I've ever wanted” nagging in your heart.  Follow the hope that you will be safe and warm.

Follow your bliss – for in it you will weather any storm.

Follow your bliss – it’s unconditional, genuine, absolute.  Follow the flutter in your stomach when you think of looking into those eyes.  Follow the comfort in knowing that someone sees the strength in you.

Follow your bliss – hold it close, don’t let it go.

Follow your bliss – don’t be deceived by circumstance.  Follow that simple truth that something solid, something constant awaits you.  Follow the urge to cast away all that is holding you back…holding you hostage…holding you in regret.

Follow your bliss – and know that when the day is through, something pure and loving awaits you.

Follow your bliss – cast away all that disparages you.  Follow your soul to the place it longs to go.  Follow the belief that whatever the consequence, your bliss will hold you up and never let you down.

Follow your bliss – that lives in your heart when you close your eyes at night and that longs to be next to you as you awake.

Follow your bliss – that passion that you felt when you held it in your hands.  Follow the warmth that the thought of holding it again brings to your soul.  Follow the joy that you felt when you awaited its coming.

Follow your bliss – it waits in blessed constancy for your return.

Follow your bliss – for true bliss is not momentary.  Follow the harmony that you long for in your heart of hearts.  Follow the peace that rings in the voice of your beloved – that tells you all is well.

Follow your bliss – for in it rests your most blessed existence and to hesitate, linger and postpone will surely silence the song in your heart.

My friend, follow your bliss.

Being authentically YOUnique

Is the life you're living reflective of who you really are?  Or are you simply playing the role of the person you think you should be?  Is there something you've always desired to do or have, but haven't attempted out of concern for what others would say?  Have you dedicated your time and energy to something for which you have no passion?  When you look in the mirror, do you recognize the person staring back at you? 

We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others

that in the end we become disguised to ourselves. 

~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

The person that you are today is based on your past experiences, your current circumstance, and your future goals.  As a child, you probably had dreams of what you would be when you grew up.  Perhaps you wanted to be a firefighter, an astronaut, or a teacher.  Maybe you had ambitions of being a famous musician or actor.  These aspirations were born of your fascination and fueled by your illusions.  But along the way, your perceptions began to be challenged by others.

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,

their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."

- Oscar Wilde

He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.  ~Raymond Hull

We are not solitary beings.  It's human nature for us to desire a connection with those around us.  Often, the desire to belong and be accepted is so strong that it forces us to change who we are in order to receive validation.  When we seek approval from external sources rather than from within, we discredit our own perceptions and beliefs.  Suddenly, our goals are not our goals any more.  They become diluted notions that comply with the collective feedback of those around us. 
 

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,

instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. 

~Judy Garland

Accept no ones definition of your life; define yourself. ~Harvey Fierstein

The next time you start to doubt yourself and you look to others for validation, consider how unreasonable it is to give more merit to another person's views than your own.  It's inconceivable that others would hold the key to your happiness or know your strengths and purpose more than you would.

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.  ~e.e. cummings

There is no feeling more satisfying than being comfortable in your own skin.  There will always be critics and since it's impossible to please everyone, why not please yourself . . .

 

Don't be discouraged . . .

It's happened to us all at some point in time . . . a little thing called discouragement.  It sits between you and what you desire.  Sometimes it's disguised as hard work. Sometimes it's disguised as doubt that what you desire is achievable. Sometimes it's disguised as criticism from others. Sometimes it's disguised as fear of failure.

Edison failed 10, 000 times before he made the electric light.
Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times.
- Napoleon Hill

Whatever shroud discouragement wears, it's just that . . . a shroud.  Its intent is to distract your focus.  If you accept the charade, discouragement will plant more seeds of negativity.  You begin to make excuses about not having enough time, energy or money.  You begin to worry about what people will think of you.  You begin to think about times that you've wanted to achieve similar things in the past and weren't successful in doing so.

"When everything seems to be going against you,
remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it ...."
- Henry Ford

When discouragement obstructs your path, take a moment to peer past it at your goal and ask yourself a question?  Is this something I want for myself or is this a goal that I've created to please someone else?  If the goal isn't something that you genuinely want for yourself, release it.  Finding the resolve to achieve something you don't truly desire is exhausting and will not bring you satisfaction.  If the goal is authentically yours, then refocus on the discouragement and remove its veil. Look closely at what is holding you back from achieving what you want.  Address the fears, the doubts and the critics; including the biggest one . . . YOURSELF.  Then allow yourself to believe that the sense of accomplishment and happiness you will feel from achieving your goal is greater than anything discouragement can throw your way.

If we doubted our Fears instead of doubting our dreams,
Imagine how much in life we'd accomplish.
- Joel Brown

Don't be discouraged by setbacks or perceived failures.  Life has a tendency to strip away the unnecessary to make space for the unbelievable.

Lighten Your Load of Unnecessary Baggage

As we embark on this journey called life, many of us carry around unnecessary emotional baggage like regret, insecurity, sorrow, and fear. We neatly pack and transport years and years of painful memories and experiences with us.  We've been lugging some of this baggage around for so long that we view the weight of the burden as innate, not realizing that we are voluntarily carrying it.
   

"You cannot let go of anything if you cannot notice
that you are holding it. Admit your 'weaknesses' and
watch them morph into your greatest strengths." 

- Neale Donald Walsch

It's time to take an honest look at your life.  Just how much baggage are you dragging behind you?  Is it yours alone or are you shouldering other people's hardships as well?  Do you find yourself experiencing the same frustrations, mistakes and heartaches over and over again?  Are you drawn to people and situations that only seem to add to the weight of your existing emotional baggage?

"I say unto you that suffering is not holding you, you are holding suffering." 

- Osho

Have you asked yourself what you are going to DO with all that stuff when you get to where you're going? Most of the baggage you're dragging around is useless and you haven't WORN the contents in years...some because they're out of style (like opinions about yourself & others), some because you've outgrown them and they no longer fit (like relationships), some because they're just plain ugly and you should never have possessed to begin with (like prejudice, envy and hate), and WORST OF ALL--some are simply worn out and tattered but you keep them because they are comfortable (like habits and behaviors).

"People have a hard time letting go of their suffering.
Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar." 

- Thich Nhat Hanh

Would would happen if you let go of the pain, let go of the emotions, let go of the attachments to the difficult memories, let go of the identity you've created because of all the baggage?
 

"Let go. Why do you cling to pain? 

There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. 
Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?" 
- Leo Buscaglia

If you can release your grip on the experiences of your past, you will free yourself up to live the life you deserve.  It's impossible to move forward if you're constantly looking in the rear view mirror.  Stop exhausting yourself with the responsibility of thoughts, behaviors, and memories that don't serve you.  Instead, revitalize yourself by focusing your energies on the people and things that bring you joy.

"Think about any attachments that are depleting
your emotional reserves. Consider letting them go." 

- Oprah Winfrey

Lighten your load! You'll reach your destination faster and the journey will be far more enjoyable.